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Steps to consider when getting a divorce
By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff
Contrary to popular perception, divorce can be a long and arduous process. It is not as simple as calling a lawyer and have him draft divorce papers that you can sign after a few minutes. This is a really crazy time that will involve a lot of arguments and counterarguments especially if the divorce was not amicably settled. There are a lot of decisions that you and your partner have to make. In fact, some say that a couple only gets to talk to each other if they are in the process of getting a divorce!
Children or no children
Although the entire process of getting a divorce is basically the same throughout. The process is different if there are no children to worry about. The things that you have to take care of is lesser and it is less “crazy” so to speak. Often, it is in the custody battles that things really turn ugly and crazy. Couples will surely have a lot of shouting matches in their bid to get full custody of the kids. Below are some of the steps that you should take.
1. Get a lawyer.
Whether or not you have children or not, this is one step that you have to take in order to make a go with the divorce. You cannot start the proceedings if you do not have a lawyer who will represent you and take care of your interests. In looking for a lawyer, you can ask your friends and acquaintances. If you can, find a lawyer that really specializes in divorce cases as these are the kind of lawyers that help you get the most out of the failed marriage. Make sure also that you have thoroughly researched the credentials and the licenses. Remember that there are bogus lawyers who operate even without proper licenses.
2. focus on the financial
With no children to think of, you then have to resolve the financial side of the marriage. This is the time when you have to decide who gets what. This is especially true with divorce proceedings that involve people who had a great deal of assets even before they got into the marriage.
You and your partner will have to decide how to divide the properties and to agree on a settlement. Some spouse demand a spousal support or what is called the alimony. This is an allowance that is given to the other partner. Often, it is the woman who gets the alimony. Alimony is not allowed in all states and it is actually entirely up to the judge to decide although there are some couples who have already agreed on it even before the drafting of the divorce papers. Alimony is often granted to partners who have been economically depends on the other for most of the time in their marriage.
3. Custody
Children are perhaps the most affected in the split. It is important that you reassure them throughout the process and make them understand that it is never their faults. Most kids would feel that their parents split up because of something that they have done. This is a pretty traumatic time for them and they need your support. If you can avoid going to court for the custody, avoid it like the plague. Custody battles often leave a traumatic impression on kids. For the sake of the children, couples should amicably settle on how to divide the custody of the kids. You can actually get a shared custody where the kids will spend half of their time in your house and the other half in your partner’s.
4. child support
One great thing about getting a divorce instead of just separating without going through the legal process is the child support, which requires the partner, oftentimes the man, to send regular allowances to the children for their basic needs. The support will also involve the educational needs of the children as well as their medical and health expenses. This way, the partner will still be responsible for the kids. Some courts will even ask the partner to provide support for the therapy of the kids after the custody battles.
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