How to deal with a mean manipulative ex?
By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff
Oprah made famous a book about decoding the signs or signals sent by guys and whether these signals actually mean that they are really into the girl they are sending these signals to. The book He’s Not Just Into You is now considered a bible by many girls of all ages. The phrase is now ubiquitous especially in websites, forums and articles with dating and relationships as main topics. The same authors came up with another book about how to deal with break-ups aptly called It’s Called A Break Up Because It’s Broken. That latest book is also climbing the charts.
This goes to show that people care about relationships. Seriously confronting these things can work because after all relationships are serious matters but humoring your way into solving a relationship problem is an even better idea. The books mentioned actually cover topics that people are really concerned about and some of these issues people take rather seriously and the books were able to present them in a manner that is light but very concise. Now if there is a book in the same line about how to handle a mean manipulative ex then our lives would be so much easier.
Ending a relationship is not always easy and though most people hope for a friendly ending at most what you can get is a civil treatment afterwards. In most cases parties get awkward or cold to each other and eventually both wishes never to cross each other’s paths again. A friendship gone sour will have greater chances of being sweet again compared to bad breakups. The latter is a case wherein both parties can harbor bitterness and only time can heal the wounds. It is best that people concerned are given space totally apart from each other, if both can respect that then the situation will easily be forgotten. There are some though not lucky enough to have to deal with a mean manipulative ex.
The mean manipulative ex can only be one if the other party is willing to be manipulated because as they say there is no oppressor if there is no one to oppress. The mean manipulative ex thrives in a relationship wherein even if both parties have agreed to separate they still act as if they are together thus making it difficult for both of them to move on. At this stage, the victim is usually on the process of letting go but mean manipulative ex will find a way to creep back to the victim’s senses.
There is the mean manipulative ex who seems to be sweet and caring about the welfare of the victim but it will turn out that the ex keeps on doing the sweetness act only if he/she needs something from the victim. It can be a material thing or sexual favors. The victim unknowingly gives in to these favors thus it becomes sort of a habit.
Another type of mean manipulative ex is the one who uses guilt or threat. Even after a break up there is still that tiny bit of care and when one person magnifies the hurt caused by the other then the less hurt person should presumably feel guilty. If mean manipulative ex feels that the guilt trip is not sinking in then he can force the issue and use threat instead. There are in fact horrifying stories of mean manipulative exes who uses suicide as a threat.
There might be other types of a mean manipulative ex but now let us see how this ex can be stopped. The best thing to do is to cut all ties at least for the time being that way the mean manipulative ex cannot bother the other party in any way. If that is not possible then have a group of friends as support so that you can avoid mean manipulative ex. Use these friends as your shield or excuse every time the ex comes coming back in different ways. Make sure though that these friends know what you are going through and they should be willing to help to. Last, the party that is considered to be a victim should be strong in his or her resolve not to allow his or her self to be manipulated.
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