HIS AND HERS
By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff
So you’ve built a life together and everything revolved on your being a couple. You’ve built a home and purchased things together for your home. You’re so together, even your set of friends are those that hang with you as a couple. Your old individual lives have been carefully re-crafted to suit your new unit as a couple.
As time goes by, you find new ways to build your lives around each other making everything about your lives intricately wound around the fact that you two are a couple.
Then comes the unimaginable break up. Somewhere along the way you fell apart and the couple that seemed one in everything is showing a little wear and tear and starting to burst at the seams. A little more time and it has come to the point beyond salvaging. Separation becomes an inevitable. But in the midst of all the togetherness, how do you start separating yourselves from each other when everything about your life seems to be intricately woven together?
First, it is important to remember that you didn’t spend all your life together. You were individuals at some point. It may seem so long ago that it starts to take on the feel of a distant dream but it’s true. It is also difficult to break apart what you’ve put much effort into building but sometimes, rebuilding from the bottom up is the only way to go.
Granted it will be quite a mess trying to extricate your lives from one another, not to mention it will be a real challenge to divide your property. If you had been married, you can opt for the court to settle what goes to whom. If you don’t want to opt for that, you and your ex partner can decide to discuss what you each want to leave with. Take into consideration though that the more you take, the heavier your baggage will be, figuratively and literally. Of course it’s only fare to get your share considering that you also bought in to those things but perhaps you and your ex partner can first liquidate your belongings then divide it. Or sell you share to your partner.
This will help ensure that you can start fresh unencumbered with material attachments to your previous life and ready to rebuild your life and move on forward to a brighter and better situation.
When all material belongings have been sorted out and divided, hopefully, you have been able to sort your emotions out too in the process and have successfully started the organization of your mind and heart towards the future short and long term goals you want to achieve in your life.
Granted it will be difficult to get a move on with your life and rejoin society like your heart has not just been broken especially since your friends are also your ex partner’s friends and you don’t want to put your friends in an awkward position to have to choose between the two of you as is the usual case in situations like these. In difficult break ups, the couple’s friends may actually divide themselves into a his and hers camp and there is no reason to have to do that.
The thing to do is to start to expand your circle to include new friends as part of your new life. This is not an exercise at alienating your existing friends. Although your friends will sure understand if you don’t hang with them too often in the beginning or at least while you and your ex partner have not reached that level of being able to hang out with the same group in public.
Starting your life anew especially when you feel so alone can be so daunting and challenging. Take heart though and know that you are not alone in this process. Millions of other people around the globe are going the same thing as you are and they feel the same way. But in order to grow and continue to enjoy life, you’re going to have to want to rebuild your life and be ready for more challenges and fun adventures as you go on this journey called life.
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