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Can exes be friends?

By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff

Contrary to popular belief, friendship after a break up is very much possible. It all depends in you and your ex’s desire to keep a good relationship. Whether you and your ex will continue to be friends depends greatly on how you broke up. A bad break up will often lead to a bad after break up relationship. But a smooth one can lead to a beautiful friendship. There are many good friends out there who were once romantically linked.

So the trick is to know how to break up properly. Below are some tips on how to correctly let someone go and still remain friends with him after.

1. Remember to let go of old grievances even before you decide to break up. It is definitely not proper to bring up old issues and grudges when ending a relationship. So you must do is to sincerely forgive your partner for whatever wrongdoing he may have committed. You must also ask forgiveness for the wrong things you have done. In this way, you will have no ill feelings toward each other and there will be a great possibility that you will be friends even after the relationship is over.

2. Be firm and decisive about your decision to break up. If ever your partner does not want to break up, do not let him manipulate you to stay in the relationship. You must try, to the best of your abilities, make him understand the reasons why you are breaking up. Tell him that even though he might not agree with it, you have already decided to break up with him and will not be persuaded to stay in the relationship. Anticipate the many tactics your partner will use just to make you stay.

3. Do not be scared of what might happen after the break up. Try not to think or worry about the possible negative effects that your break up will have on you or your partner.

4. Be supportive. If you really want to be friends with your partner then you must be truly happy for what his life will become after the break up. If ever he finds a new partner first, then be sincerely happy for him. Do not be bitter. Life will be good to you to if you learn to wish goodness in other people’s lives.

5. Be open to the possibility of you being together again. If two people are destined to be with each other, love will find a way to bring them together even after they have broken up. Being friends with your partner even after you break up will make reconciliation easier.

6. Do not be ambiguous when break up. Call a spade a spade. If you really are breaking up with your partner then do not tell him that you simply letting tings cool off. Do not say things such as “I just need to do this” or “I just want to be alone.” Saying such thing will only make your partner confused and will give the impression that you are also confused about your situation. If you really think it is time to end the relationship then just say it. This is definitely kinder and more respectful than being vague about your feelings. Prolonging the inevitable will only put more pressure and strain on your relationship and will make it more difficult for both of you to remain friends after you break up. Do not torture yourself or your partner. When you feel like it is time to go then simply go.

7. Break up with your partner personally. You may have heard of individuals who have broken up with their partners through a friend. This is not a good practice. It is actually a sign of disrespect towards your partner. The issue is between you and your partner and no one else you should get involved. It will be hard enough for your partner to learn that you will break up with him but It will definitely be harder for him if he learns it from someone else. At least give him the dignity of learning the news from you. This will also give both of you a chance to say what you want to say to each other.