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DIVORCE AFTER A LONG MARRIAGE

By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff

It is a sad thing that there are many long marriages that have ended in divorce. It sometimes can be such shocking news upon hearing of a married couple of many years suddenly ending up in divorce. It is really a sad fact but such circumstances have become more and more common. Some enduring marriages suddenly break down, losing its luster. Such marriages can end up in divorce due to a number of reasons.

Marriages, no matter how long they have endured the test of time, always has the risk of failing. There are many situations and reasons that can bring this about. Not all marriages fail and end up in divorce for the same reason. There usually more than just one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Here are some of the reasons of marriage breakdown heard more often than others.

Poor communication has been known to cause a breakdown of a long marriage. Spouses that have put themselves in a situation where communication with each other has become impossible may have put themselves in the risk of divorce. Poor communication can cause the downfall of a marriage. Years and years of poor communication can destroy any relationship. Misunderstandings between spouses increase. It can go as far as treating each other with the silent treatment. Anger and hate is reflected in a veil of silence until such time that both parties cannot take it anymore.

Another reason for a breakdown of a long marriage is financial problems. A spouse may have finally realized after years of living together that a partner may not be able to take care of their needs. Having financial problems can create some tension between spouses. If both will not be able to work it out and find a solution for this type of problem, a divorce may eventually be considered no matter how long the marriage has endured the test of time.

Another reason heard often is lack of commitment for both parties to the marriage. Couples may have considered their separate dealings as more important than the relationship. They have given little effort on making their marriage work by concentrating more on their own professions or other more important matters in their lives. This will eventually result in a dramatic change in priorities that has placed the marriage on the bottom of the list. This situation would surely end u in divorce.

Other reasons for marriage failure includes being unfaithful, failed expectations or unmet needs, substance abuse and other types of addictions as well as physical, sexual or emotional abuse and a lack of conflict resolution skills. Without any doubt, marriage still remains as an enduring vow for millions of married couples, and the many benefits of a happy marriage are hardly in doubt. But as times progress, there are more and more men and women who have spent decades with the same mate, willing to forfeit marital security and opt for divorce if they have determined that their union has been an unhappy one. Experts say the number of people ending long-term marriages after age 50 is steadily increasing.

The majority of divorces over the age of 50 are known to be initiated by women. One survey showed that 66 percent of women reported that they asked for the divorce, compared with 41 percent of men. And men more often than women were caught off-guard by a sudden divorce announcement by their partners. This may be because women often recognize the danger signs of a problem marriage earlier than men do. And most of the time this realization doesn’t come suddenly.

In fact, marital unhappiness often can continue on for years before a spouse can finally admit it. Women tend to think over their decision to separate much longer. It has been known that most women start contemplating the divorce issue at least 2 to 5 years before they decide on finally going through with it. The primary reason is usually the kids. When contemplating divorce, a lot of people would bide their time in order to spare potential victims of the whole affair—the children. Spouses sometimes try to put off their divorce plans for the sake of their children.

Only when their children have grown up as adults do they feel safe in proceeding with the divorce issue. This is one of the main reasons why some long marriages can sometimes end up in divorce. It may have been an issue on the earlier part of the marriage, but for the sake of the children, may have been put off for a later time.