Dating again after a split
By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff
There are things that could be said about dating and relationship per se. People and society see it as an active ingredient in a person’s normal life. A person needs relationship and companionship to experience the full circle of life. Life as people call the term, is the accumulation of man’s experiences and lessons that he has learned. And experiencing a relationship is part of the accumulation process for a person’s emotional repertoire.
RELATIONSHIP RELATIVITY
Man or people, strictly speaking, are a thinking species. So in the event of a new experience people build and construct responses for each new experience and store them for future use. These responses are categorized in different levels of severity. A person responds violently to a situation where he knows that his life is in the balance. In the same sense he acts with joviality when faced with a humorous predicament. Son in that sense, man acts only as fitted to the situation that he is up against. But what if he is faced with a situation where he has no pre-installed response in his repertoire of emotions? He closes himself and let his defense mechanisms take over. Fight or flight.
It is quite relative that when faced with predicaments closely related to relationships he responds only in ways that he is accustomed to. In the literal sense, if he maladjusted to relationship problems he might very well implode and ruin the relationship altogether. And he is quite adept in his emotional bargaining he could salvage the relationship and live on.
In a nutshell, man’s core foundation in handling relationship situation is based from the very lessons he or she has learned in the past.
RESUCITATION
When people are faced with break-ups or separation they normally respond according to instinct. And let it be known that people who usually follow instinct are often times left in the wake of a separation with no knowledge of what just transpired. Separation being sporadic and abrupt, most people have no time to really absorb the gravity of the situation. Hence they are left with defense mechanisms and no real lesson. If that is the case bounding back from the fall will be quite difficult. And if that is the case, the person would be on the rebound instead of being in the path of healing.
There is no sure fire way of bouncing back from a bad fall, but there are ways of slowly accepting the fact that whatever you had is over and it is time to go out and meet other people again. Starting on something new is the best way to heal your self and develop the proper responses for unfamiliar situations.
BOUNCE BACK
Exploring the world and letting yourself see the world again in a different light is quite alien right after a failed relationship. But the process lets you have a new life and a new beginning. There would be a lot of awkward and tense moments but that’s just the unfamiliarity looking to grab the opportunity right from under you. So get yourself started by knowing some of the things that you need to accept to be accepted again in the circle of singles.
One, accept the fact that what you had is over. Only by accepting the fact that you no longer have it can you start with giving yourself the chance to move on. Solving the problem starts when you accept that you have it.
Two, no two people are alike. Not because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean that everybody is the same. People are different and the last banana that you ate will taste a little different with the next.
Three, only by loving yourself again can you start opening doors to people. The love that we give our significant others are only the extension of the love that we have for ourselves. Now that you have yourself again you can start giving yourself attention and concern. When people feel that you have love for yourself they will be attracted to you. The great Casanova once said that to be a great lover you would have to be the flame and not the moth.
And finally, take you time. Love is not a speed game relationships are formed over time. Time and communication are part of a lasting relationship, so there is a need to know yourself, what you want, what the other person wants and what both of you can give. Remember , ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN.
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