HOW TO COPE WITH A PAINFUL BREAKUP
By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff
Love hurts, so a song says. It takes life with it to start again, while time seem to land into an instant stop after breaking up with someone. The question is: how can I cope with a major breakup?
As one of the factors that make a person depressed, loss of a loved one plays a very important reason that a person isolates, undergo stress, have different mood swings, increase or decrease appetite. Losing someone through breakup does not mean death of love. Yet a simple breakup that seems to be a common incident happening to older and younger adults has impact that it affects self-esteem for some periods of time. With some bouts of common signs of depression, one can only recover fully if thoughts are no longer thriving from the past relationship. It is just one life’s incident and coping with it is necessary!
Here are the ways on coping with a major breakup:
RECOVER FIRST FROM DEPRESSION:
If the depression is manageable, indulge in aerobic activities like going to gym. Other wise, if expense is a factor, why not simply take a walk for a mile or two in a day. Keep an active lifestyle and contact good friends. Cry it out to them if needed until the bouts of pain is over. If friends are busy, you can buy a punching bag to release anger literally, or indulge in playing musical instruments if you have the skill. Also, remember not to saturate real friends with so much words of complain and grief. Just say things that are tolerable to them. Stick to your old goals or ambitions and do not let a failed relationship stop you from accomplishing them.
SIMPLE MEDITATION:
Blanking the mind is important because it is agitated enough to think of the bad memories. Do a relaxing posture called “Dead Man’s Pose”:
Lie flat in the bed with hands on the side, close your eyes and assume dead posture. Lie still for a while and strive to blank the mind and hold it for quite a while. You have an option to keep this posture for a long period of time while keeping the mind blank or:
On this state, let relaxation travel from your feet, slowly. Let an imaginary “energy” flow and revitalize the entire body and imagine that all the pains are gone until it reaches your head. Release all the tensions from the head. Continue with this relaxed state as long as you like. If in case you feel sleepy, then just sleep. What matters is the blanking of the mind.
LEARN FROM OTHER’S EXPERIENCES:
Count your blessings. Major breakups happen to a lot of people. Just think how bad others had gone through and you will be relieved that yours is over at last. It is a turning point where you are given the chance to make your life better. The lesson you gain is worth the price for a next experience of relating with someone. Remember that breakups are temporary defeat.
DEAL WITH CONSEQUENCES
If the breakup has affected “in between life” commitments, it is time to settle it now once and for all. An example: if both of you had adopted a child as part of pact of relationship, then it must be settled properly. Although this is too serious and really painful, there is no option other than settling this for good with the right counsel. Then if the consequences are easier, then it is a matter of self-recovery.
FIND ALTERNATIVES:
Attending gatherings and relevant career affairs matter a lot in recovering socially. Events can draw people giving you potential friendly dates. Although stick to the mission of settling yourself first before plunging in another relationship while the wounds of the break-up are not yet healed.
CRY IT OUT
Try to be strong with composure, but allow yourself a time for a moment. In an odd hour, if you feel like crying, cry it all out and express all the sadness that you feel. Do not hide the pain inside, as it will squander your being with guilt and gloom. Cry it until it feels better, then sleep and do better things the next day.
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