Tips on breaking it up
By BreakUpAdviceOnline.com Staff
Relationships do end and perhaps the one thing that is more painful than deciding to end everything is telling the person you are with that it is over.
Although sometimes, there will already be some signs that the relationship is going nowhere and it is already time to go your separate ways, it will not make it easier or less painful. In fact, the hardest part in saying goodbye is actually saying the words.
But no matter how painful it will be, you have to do it. If there is no more reason to stay, then it is best that you let it go and give both of you the opportunity to heal and find new loves.
Below are some tips that will help you to gently break the news out.
1. Be absolutely sure
Before saying the words, make sure that you do mean them. Think about it. If you feel that it is time to end the relationship, then decide to end it and stick with that decision. Do not attempt to break it for any other reasons besides the fact that you want out. Some people use breaking up as an excuse to “jolt” their partner up. This, however, can backfire if the partner refuses to accept the ultimatum. Do not say you want to break up if that is not what you really mean as this can create a lot of complications for you.
If you have decided, do not let your partner sway your decision. Stick with it.
2. Don’t delay.
Delaying what for you is inevitable will only increase the pressure. If you feel that it is time to end the relationship, then say it.
3. Plan for it
Saying goodbye can be really painful not only for your partner but also for you even if you are the one who decided to end the relationship. Because it can hurt a lot, do not just blurt the words out. Out of respect for the feelings of your partner, choose your words carefully and make sure that you have not said anything that will make the situation even more painful.
The words that you will not be using are not the only thing that you should plan for. You also have to choose the right time and the right place to do it. Make sure that the place is extremely private and comfortable. Also, make sure that the time is right for both of you. This means that there is no additional stressor for that day. Choose a moment when you are both relaxed. This way, you will both be rational. Never ever break up with someone in the middle of a fight or in a heated moment.
4. Do it in person.
There is nothing more annoying that people who break up over the telephone or through letters. Out of respect for your partner, have the courage to do it in person. This way, you can talk afterwards and clear up things. Many unresolved issues can surface if you do not do it in person.
5. Tie up loose ends.
As mentioned before, there can be a lot of unresolved issues involved when it comes to breaking up. You owe it your partner and you owe it to yourself to tie up the loose ends so that both of you can move on with your lives with a clean slate. Talk it over and resolve the issues that you felt led to the break up. Clear things up and answer the questions that you have been wanting to ask for so long. By doing this, you will both be free not only in terms of the relationship but emotionally free.
6. Left past mistakes in the past
Breaking up is hard as it is without bringing up past mistakes and past hurts. Although you should both discuss what happened to the relationship, blaming each other will only make matters worst. Learn to let go of old grudges just as you have decided to let go of the relationship.
7. Part as amicably as you can.
Although this will not be guaranteed as some break-ups can be really bitter, it is good to try and make things as civil as possible.
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